I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
