Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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