I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
as a side note pls kill me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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