whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
