Sry I called you an 8
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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