2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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