moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
