Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize