I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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