gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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