that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
