and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
