ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
