my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
