So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
