Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
