i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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