32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
