so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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