Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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