toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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