the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
