there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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