So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize