Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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