but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
