oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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