Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is Oprah even human
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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