u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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