on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
