Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
