So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
