omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
