She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
