so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
