I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
