Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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