she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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