I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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