Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
