We're like a lot better than the average bears
The maid of honor just puked.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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