Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought i was a dude.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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