and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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