i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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