i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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