dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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