Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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