omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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