I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it hurts more in the daytime
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sext me about skeletons
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
