Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
