I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You've changed since you got that strap on