apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am