Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
