Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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