it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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