The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I color on your dick again?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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