Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
