sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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