just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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